At school in the hallway
Jimmy: Kid Elrick’s new cd is amazing. It’s got has a totally new sound. Craig-
Craig: Hey guys check this out!
Jimmy: What is it?
Marco: Does your band have the heat to make hot sounds in T.O.?
Jimmy: Win two days of studio time and record your own single.
Craig: It’s exactly the kind of exposure we need right now.
Jimmy: Then we’d get the limos, the private jets. The blingity bling!
Spinner: The panties flying at us on the stage.
Marco: Man we have to win this.
Ashley: Excuse us posers.
Ellie: Real musicians coming through.
Craig: Oh you’re signing up. Cool, a little competition never hurt.
Ashley: 'Cause nothing ever gets in the way of what Craig wants. Not emotions, honesty, other people’s feelings.
Craig: You hear that? She still hates me.
Ashley: And that’s why the girls and I are gonna blow you right off the stage.
In Craig’s garage
Craig: Subterranean seismic, Overloads the circuits of my. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. This blows.
(Marco, Spinner, Jimmy walk in.)
Marco: Yeah but Ashley’s been playing the piano for what 12 years? and Paige is really good and then there’s Hazel..
Craig: Marco-relax! Theres no way I’m gonna let my ex girlfriend beat me in a band competition!
Craig: So you guys learned the song?
Jimmy: Yeah, yeah we listened all day, are the lyrics ready?
Craig: How bout you just concentrate on getting the song down ok? One, two, one, two, three…
(Everyone playing.)
Craig: Guys! Guys! What was that?! (as Spinner’s still playing the drums without noticing everyone else stopped)
Spinner: Dude!! Take it easy!
Craig: Jimmy you ever hear of tuning? Marco it’s a bass man, you play one note at a time!! And Spinner…
Jimmy: Okay, alright just chill. Look it’s just a song, alright?
Craig: Right, it’s just a song. Let me tune your guitar.
In Ms. Kwan’s class
Hazel: I totally get how you feel Ashley. I was creeped out by the whole hospital thing at first.
Paige: But Ter is like 200% better. Pink cheeks, she could wake up any minute!
Ashley: All right I’ll go with you guys next time, after we win the band thing to tell her about it.
Ms Kwan: Good morning. We’ll begin today by reading contributions from your creative writing journals. Who’s first?
Ashley: (hands up) These are the lyrics to a song I just wrote. “Black, twisted agony. The fires of chaos burn on. Run for her tombstone before it’s too late. The blood runs cold in her veins.”
(Craig and Marco quietly laughing.)
Ms. Kwan: Great, uh just great. Let’s leave our discussion until we’ve heard more shall we?
Out in the hall
Ashley: I can’t believe no one said a thing about my song.
Paige: Um hon, I don’t think anyone got it.
Ashley: It’s about a girl who died in the Spanish civil war.
Craig: Yeah, um I feel her pain.
Ellie: I hate to be brutal…
Ashely: But you’re going to anyway…
Ellie: You’re supposed to write about things you’ve experienced.
Hazel: Yeah like your ex!
Ashley: I just can’t pretend to forgive or forget. Gonna make the day you met me, a day you’ll regret.
Ellie: I think Craig’s in trouble.
Outside Joey’s house
Joey: Uh Ang, be careful with that bag, it has the eggs in it, okay?
Angie: Aunty Caitlin watch!! (Jumping down the steps as she drops eggs on the ground)
Joey: Angela Elizabeth! What did I just say!?
Caitlin: Hey, are you alright?
Joey: See this is what happens when little girls don’t go to bed on time!
Caitlin: Don’t cry Angie! C’mon…
Joey: Ah she’s fine.
Caitlin: I know. You wanna see something really cool? Watch this!! (cartwheels) Can your fuddy duddy daddy do that, huh!?
Angie: No!! He’s old and no fun!
Joey: Oh really! Watch this! (handstands) I am a fun machine! (Falls down right on his back)
Caitlin: Oh Joey are you okay?
Joey: Oh no, oh no no no no no no.
At a record store in the mall
Craig: Ashley! Wait, listen. I’ve been thinking about things between us and I respect you too much for things to keep going on like this. And you’re not shouting at me. I’m gonna take that as a good sign.
Ashley: If you have something to say then I wanna hear it.
Craig: Good. So I’m sorry I made fun of your lyrics earlier. You’re a really good writer and musician and that wasn’t fair.
Ashley: This is about my lyrics?
Craig: Yeah, what did you think?
Ashley: Yeah, what was I thinking?
At Joey’s house
(Caitlin chasing Angie while they’re both wearing capes.)
Caitlin: Watch out bad guys!!
(Angie jumping on Joey.)
Joey: OW! No no no! Angie please! Ow, no no no! Ow.
Caitlin: Sweetie, he’s a good guy.
Joey: Ow. Angie do daddy a favor okay go upstairs. Go get your Barbie suitcase and put some things in it; your toothbrush, your Gotchies…
Angie: Ooh Barbie suitcase!
Joey: Caitlin, get me the phone please. Angie’s gonna stay with my mom until I feel better. Craig can help me out around here.
Caitlin: Why don’t you let me help out?
Joey: Um, thank you but you’re busy. I can’t impose on you like that.
Caitlin: I don’t mind! …What?
Joey: Well… it’s not all fun and games. Sometimes she needs a firm hand.
Caitlin: You don’t think I can do it, do you!?
Joey: I think you’re great with her, I just think you’re more friend-great than parent-great.
Caitlin: Angie!! You can stop packing! I’m gonna take care of you two!
At school, in the auditorium
(The guys are all playing (without lyrics))
Mr. Armstrong: Okay you guys, uh good luck in the competition tomorrow.
Spinner: Yeah we’re gonna have lyrics by then right?
Craig: I’ve got it covered!
Mr. Armstrong: Up next: Hell Hath No Fury!
Paige: Um this song, it has lyrics!
Ashley: (singing) “The song is the price for breaking my heart. Should have written these words to you right from the start. You say it doesn’t matter, it’s all in the past, but pain doesn’t show, it’s disguised by it’s mask. I can’t pretend to forgive and forget. Gonna make the day you met me, a day you’ll regret. Cuz you’re the dust in my eye, you’re the rock in my shoe. Yeah you lie, lie, lie.”
In Joey’s house
Caitlin: Eat your breakfast, Scampy!
Joey: Oh you don’t have to do this.
Caitlin: Oh it’s fine. I got just enough time to drop her off before my meeting.
Angie: I don’t like this!
Joey: Too bad. Eat up!
Caitlin: I can handle this, thank you! Um how about some toast?
Angie: No!
Caitlin: Cereal?
Angie: I want pancakes!
Joey: Angela!
Angie: Pancakes with syrup!
Joey: Angie…
Caitlin: Okay uh pancakes we can do it, coming up! Dolly, hi! It’s Caitlin, um would you tell Steve I’m going to be just a little bit late.
Angie: Auntie Caitlin!
(Caitlin drops her cell phone in the porridge.)
Joey: Good morning. Breakfast calling please leave your bacon after the tone.
In the computer lab
(In the background)
Mr. Simpson: The databasing should work…
Craig: Those lyrics of yours! Not cool!
Ashley: Typical. Self absorbed Craig actually thinks the song is about him.
Ellie: Wow, so vain.
Craig: What’s your problem? You attack me every time I pass you in the hall and now you're performing that.
Paige: Well what’d you expect? ‘For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow’?
Craig: Ash I swear if you play that song in the competition I’ll…
Ashley: Have sex with more grade 9’s?!
Mr. Simpson: Guys, settle down please!
Craig: You know, if you weren’t such a prude I’d never have been with Manny!
Ashley: (so sarcastic) Oh but I thought you loved her.
Craig: Oh you know what!! Go…
Mr. Simpson: Hey! One more word and double homework!
In Craig’s garage
Spinner: Dude, where have you been?
Craig: I’m out of the contest. Just wanted to tell you guys.
Marco: What?! Craig no…
Craig: Ashley’s won already so just forget it.
Spinner: No we’re not forgetting it. And if Ashley wants a war, well we have the ammo my friend, we have the ammo. Hit it Brooks.
(Rapping.)
Jimmy: Our homie is a player, that is all, so why’d you have to go and kick his
Spinner: ball and chain, ain’t that your name? Cuz you a playa hata and that’s a shame.
Jimmy: And chicks like you ain’t worth too much, so shut up girl
Jimmy and Spinner: and make my lunch! Yeah!
Marco: Uh Craig…me and you-walk!
Marco and Craig walking outside
Craig: That rap is never leaving the garage!
Marco: Which is why you need to write us lyrics! Okay? A.s.a.p.
Craig: Marco!!
Marco: What do you have so far? Look maybe I can help.
Craig: Look I’m blocked okay. This whole thing with Ash and Manny… it’s like I try and write and nothing comes out.
Marco: So glad I’m not into girls!!! Okay… AAHHHHH!
Craig: Have you lost it?!
Marco: What?! It clears my head! Go, try it!
Craig: No.
Marco: But, it gets the creative juices going.
Craig: No, I’m not doing that!
Marco: Then it’s Spinner’s sexist rap.
Craig: Ahhhh.
Marco: No, you have to do it like you mean it! Go!
Craig: AAAAHHHHH! No, sorry… nothing.
At Joey’s house
Joey: So did you and Auntie Caitlyn have fun shopping today?
Angie: It was okay. I’m gonna go out and play.
Caitlin: Sweetie I need you to wash your hands for dinner.
Angie: 5 minutes.
Caitlin: No, I need you to wash them now!
Angie: Bye!
Caitlin: Stop right there missy! Wash those hands now! You heard me!
Angie: I hate you. (Running up the stairs)
At school
(Girls walking down the hall together with flaming Craig shirts on.)
Marco: Is that Craig?
Ashley: You like? It’s amazing what you can do with a computer these days!
Craig: I give up.
Ashley: I’m sorry, I care why?
Craig: All you care about is making my life a living hell.
Ashley: Do you have any idea what my life has been like for the past few months?!
Craig: Please not this again.
Ashley: You think this t-shirt’s hard to deal with or our song? I wanted to die Craig, I felt that bad!
Craig: Ok, well you’re not listen-
Ashley: No, it’s not ok! It’ll never be ok!
Craig: I’m sorry ok!? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!! How many times do I have to say it?
Ashley: Until you mean it.
In the auditorium
Ashley: (singing) You say it doesn’t matter, it’s all in the past, but pain doesn’t show, it’s disguised by it’s mask. I can’t pretend to forgive and forget. Gonna make the day you met me, a day you’ll regret. Cuz you’re the dust in my eye, you’re the rock in my shoe. Yeah, you lie, lie, lie. Better watch what you say cuz I’m on to you, Mr. Nice guy! Ooohh Mr. Nice guy! You’re so nice.
Marco: Okay. So they’re good.
Spinner: Even if they suck we don’t have a chance without a singer.
Liberty: I have you down as a rock quartet. Shall I downgrade to a power trio?
Jimmy: Our singer will be here in a second.
Liberty: Well it better be one of the next sixty. On in one minute!!
Spinner: So we’ll do it without Craig…with my lyrics.
Announcer: Wow! Those girls really knocked it out of the park! Next up to bat we have the Downtown Sasquatch!
Spinner: Hi we’re Downtown Sasquatch! Woo! Uh ok and here’s a little song we like to call we’re still thinking of a name for… Woo! And it goes a little something like this!
Marco: Spin!!
Craig: (walks out onto the stage) And it goes like this: I don’t know if you’ll forgive me for being so blind to how you felt. Don’t ask me why I couldn’t see it and that it’d take me years to figure out. And that’s not something I know much about, but there’s only one way to find out. Yeeeaaahhhh. What I know is that I hurt you oh, what I know is that I sucked and what I know is that I’m sorry. What I know is that I’m a loser and yeaahh what I know is that I screwed up and then I never earned your trust. What I know is that everything I touch just turns to dust.
At Joey’s house
Joey: How’d it go?
Caitlin: She still won’t even open the door. I feel horrible.
Joey: Well at least she’s not old enough to steal your car. That was Craig’s version of the test.
Caitlin: God, it’s like my mother’s voice came right out of my mouth.
Joey: It happens to the best of us. Look I think it’s great that you and Angie get along, but you can’t just be her friend. She’s just a kid. You have to set limits.
Caitlin: Yeah, but I called her Missy.
Joey: Ah it’s catchy.
Caitlin: Well that’s something.
Joey: You did great. She might not like you right now, but she respects you.
Caitlin: I’d rather have the like part back.
(Joey and Caitlin cuddling.)
Joey: You will. Just stick around ok?
At school
Spinner and Marco: (hugging) We won! We won!!
Spinner: Oh are you here to bring us down? Because we won fair and square.
Ashley: Yeah you did, congratulations. And Craig nice lyrics. They were just right.
Craig: Thanks.
Scenes for next weeks episode
Some old Italian guy: All these beautiful girls over here and not one you like?
Marco: First dates…they’re scary. Especially with another guy!
Marco: Yeah I like him..but…
Spinner: Just ask the dude out!
Voiceover: The only thing worse than fear…
Marco: I uh… um…
Voiceover: Might be a fashion faux pas.
Marco: Help me please.
Spinner: It’s like straight eye for the gay guy!
