Épisode Vertiges d'amour (Partie 1) S05E11 - Degrassi : The Next Generation Saison 5

Outside Degrassi, eTalk Daily is interviewing Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes

Tanya: Hey I’m Tanya Kim from eTalk Daily. I’m here with Kevin Smith and his co-star Jason Mewes.

Jay: Tell me what a great guy I am ‘cause I have two tickets to the party of the year. Check it out.

Alex: Who’d you steal those from?

Jay: I was invited. I worked on the movie remember? I was gonna ask you to be my +1.

Alex: Too bad going with you is a -20.

Jay: Lexie! Let’s raise hell together like we used to huh?

Alex: I’m going with Paige Michalchuk.

Jay: You’re kidding me. The queen of Degrassi is taking the queen of the trailer park to the premiere?

Alex: I prefer to be known as queen of don’t need Jay. I never did.

Tanya: Hey are you guys happy to be back in Canada?

Kevin: I am insanely happy to be back in Canada. Canada’s motherland, Toronto! Cradle of civilization.

Jason: Toronto is where they have that poutine crap that lunchbox loves so much.

Kevin: Really sir in front of everybody do you…

Jay: Yo yo, listen! He chose a Toronto premiere over an LA premiere based on food.

(Alex watches them with a smile.)

Kevin: Toronto is where we cast the play. Toronto is where we shot the play…

Manny: Kevin Smith is being interviewed right there. What do you think he’s saying?

Paige: That tonight is gonna be the greatest, most magical movie premiere ever.

Manny: It better be. It’s not every night we get to have our professional acting debut.

Craig: Yeah or have my music featured in a big Hollywood movie, which is why we are all going first class tonight. I’m talking stretch limo.

Alex: You guys got a limo? Dibs on sticking my head out the sunroof!

(Nobody says anything.)

Alex: I am coming, right Paige?

Paige: I’m sorry hun, but they only gave me two tickets and I’m taking Hazel.

(Alex walks away angry.)

Hazel: Please as if we were going to bring her. Our limo’s a skank-free zone.

Paige: Did you just skank-ify my friend?

Hazel: Friend? More like pet project.

Paige: Jealous much?

Hazel: No. I just don’t get why you hang out with her.

Paige: Funny. I was just asking myself the same thing about you. Enjoy the limo. I’ll see you guys at the movie.

(Paige leaves and walks inside Degrassi.)

Paige: Alex! Wait!

Alex: ‘You want to go to the premiere?’ You said that. That’s an invitation.

Paige: It was really more of an observation, like ‘–you- want to go to the premiere’?

Alex: I thought you were serious. Whatever. I’m out of here.

Paige: I’m not standing for your whole ‘I’m Alex. I’m gonna ignore everyone for a week’ act.

Alex: So I wanted to go to a premiere once in my life. Crucify me.


In the school library, Peter whispers as he walks past Emma

Peter: Grab a book or something.

(Emma stands up and pretends to get a book while her and Peter whisper.)

Emma: People see us, they’ll definitely start to wonder.

Peter: Who cares? I have tickets to the party of the year. Thank you mom. I’m warning you. Major devastation if you let me down.

Emma: What if I let you down easy? I already have a date…with my step dad. My mom has to stay home with my little brother. The thing is Manny’s in the movie. She’s gonna be there so…

Peter: Yeah no talking, no touching, no looking at each other. I know the drill. Just being in the same room with you tonight’s gonna be enough for me.


In the hallway

Ms. Hatzilakos: Kevin, Jason I’d like you both to meet one of Degrassi’s finest teachers, Archie Simpson.

Kevin: Right on. Sir.

Mr. Simpson: Wow. Wow. I’m such a big fan. You know Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is one of my favourite movies.

Kevin: Thanks man.

Paige: Mr. Smith? Kevin? Kev!

Kevin: As I live and breathe, Paige Michaelton! How are you?

Paige: Uh Michalchuk.

Kevin: Michalchuk. You know what? My bad. We just always called you the busted leg girl so…

Paige: Not anymore! These will be the least broken-est gams on your red carpet.

Kevin: I’m sorry did you just say gams? What 21st century teenager still uses the term gams?

Paige: Uh the kind who needs one more ticket to the premiere tonight. Could you spare a teensy weensy extra golden ticket Mr. Smith? Please for my friend.

Kevin: God you’re working me hard aren’t you? Just like a woman. You know what? I happen to have one of those teensy weensy tickets right here and it could be yours if you say about.

Paige: Mr. Smith.

Kevin: Come on. You know I love it. Let me here it.

Paige: Aboot!

Kevin: I melt! That’s just so cute. You earned this. Just don’t let me see it up on E-bay or else I’ma cut you out of the sequel too.

Paige: I can’t thank…um too?

Kevin: Yeah Paige. Uh we had to trim your part down a little bit so, and when I say a little bit I mean…completely.

Paige: Was I that bad and unaware of my badness?

Kevin: No! No hon. You were great, but it’s just in the course of cutting a movie, stuff you know hits the editing room floor. When I was doing Jersey Girl I cut J-Lo out of half the movie. Affleck I wanted to cut him out entirely, but then that just would have left that little kid you know.

Paige: I didn’t see Jersey Girl.

Kevin: Really? Well now I’m really glad that I cut you out of my movie. I’m just kidding. You know what, please tell me you’re still gonna come to the premiere

Paige: Yeah.

Kevin: Good.


In the media immersion room, Craig and Marco are talking about the premiere when Paige walks in

Paige: Here.

(Paige hands Alex both tickets.)

Paige: And bring a guest. Kevin cut me out of the movie, hence I’m not going.

Alex: So what you’re just gonna sit at home?

Paige: I was thinking of lying actually uh in bed with ice cream.

Alex: Uh uh. You’re going.

Paige: This isn’t debateable.

Alex: Paige it’s not like actress is part of your 10 year plan.

Paige: Neither is humiliation.

Alex: Me and you are hitting that red carpet tonight and we’re gonna make Kevin so regret cutting you out of that film ‘cause we are going to look hot and I don’t mean up-do, pearls, pink prom dress hot. I mean hot. Hot!


At the movie premiere, everyone is walking up the red carpet as people take pictures of them

(Paige and Alex strut their stuff as Kevin and Jason watch.)

Jason: And you cut her out of the movie? Jackass.


Inside the premiere

Mr. Simpson: Hey just in case you didn’t know you look beautiful tonight Em.

(Emma looks at Peter and smiles, while Mr. Simpson and Ms. Hatzilakos wave at each other.)

Paige: So this is the part where everyone gets to see me cut from the movie.

Alex: This is the part where you sit back and enjoy being here with me.

(The lights dim and the movie starts.)

Alanis: (In character) You boys are too bloody stupid to make the grade down in the states and your last hope is the school system of the Great White North eh. You want to get oot of grade 12?!

(Silent Bob nods.)

Alanis: (In character) You better start learning what the metric systems all aboot!!!

Jay: (In character) I’ve got three words for you! Go to…

(Alanis smacks him in the jaw with a hockey stick and he falls back.)

Alanis: (In character) There will be no more cuss words out of you, you potty mouth mall rat. You’re gonna learn the dual languages of my home and native land and you’re gonna savour my poutine!! ‘Cause you’re in Canada now eh?!

Manny: (In character) Jay when I was born Star Wars had already been out on video for 10 whole years. You’re too old.

Jay: (In character) I know there’s laws to prevent it. I’m gonna marry Appolonia. She’s the sugar in my maple, the cheese in my poutine, the bac in my bacon.

Ellie: (In character) The ick in pathetic.

(Everyone starts clapping.)


After the premiere

Alex: Who knew Manny could actually act and Craig’s song full on rocked.

Paige: You’re sounding suspiciously upbeat. Are you sure you’re okay?

Alex: It’s a Hollywood premiere. Sue me for getting caught up in it.

Paige: Well the only thing I’m catching is a cab ride home for my hot date with Ben & Jerry.

Alex: What kind of friend would I be if I let you bail on the hottest party ever?


At the after party

Marco: This is the after party?

Hazel: This is the kiddie version. The real party is through those doors and it’s invitation only. Strictly VIP.

Alex: And so about to be crashed!

Hazel: You really think he’s gonna let you in?

(Toby and a very pregnant Liberty are trying to get in.)

Toby: I’m a close personal friend of Kevin’s. If he finds out you didn’t let us in you’re gonna be in big trouble pal. Huge.

(The bouncer picks up Toby and puts him outside of the line and moves to pick up Liberty.)

Liberty: Uh I can move myself thanks.

Jimmy: Hey. You were great in the movie.

Ellie: Yeah all five lines.

Jimmy: Well they were great five lines

(Cuts to Peter who’s putting alcohol in the punch.)

Emma: What are you doing?

Peter: It’s vodka. I’ll only pour half.

Emma: Don’t. If you get caught you’ll be stuck in detention for weeks and then I’ll never get to see you.

Peter: Well you can see me tonight, maybe someplace quiet and secluded.

Emma: Theatre lobby 30 minutes.

(Manny and Craig start walking over and Peter quickly leaves.)

Emma: Manny!

Manny: Hey.

Emma: You were amazing.

Manny: Really? You think so? Uh did you stay till the end to hear Craig’s song?

Emma: Of course! Let’s toast to Degrassi’s celebrity couple!

(Paige is trying to get in to the VIP section.)

Paige: I did makeup on the movie. Do you mind if I cut through?

Mickey: Nice try girly.

Alex: Sorry I’m late.

(She kisses Paige on the cheek and hugged her.)

Alex: Some jerk blocked me in at the strip club again. The sign clearly says employee parking only.

Paige: Oh sweetie I hope you didn’t tire yourself out at work. You promised me some hot dancing.

Mickey: Alright, in you go.

Marco: What?!

(Marco and Hazel try and sneak in and the bouncer kicks them out.)

Paige: I can’t believe the bouncer actually fell for that.

Alex: Are you kidding? We’re a couple hot chicks. Of course he’s gonna fall for that.

Jay: Ladies.

Paige: Ew. VIP does not stand for vastly icky poseur. What are you doing here?

Jay: My boy Mickey right there. Hey. He worked security on the movie. Oh I saw your little girl on girl PDA. Is that why you dumped me?

Alex: Right. It had nothing to do with you hooking up with every skank in the ravine.

Jay: Ah and you’re trying to get back at me by hooking up with every skank here.

Alex: You do not call her that. Ever! Paige would you like to dance with me?

Paige: Love to!

(Paige and Alex start dancing together while Jay glares at them.)


In the theatre lobby

Peter: Remind me to tell you how much I like your naughty side.

Emma: Consider yourself reminded.

(They start kissing, but stop when a janitor starts vacuuming the room.)

Peter: Let’s go!

(They move into the theatre.)

Emma: There’s somebody in here with us.

(They see Ms. Hatzilakos and Mr. Simpson making out.)


In the VIP party, Paige and Alex are dancing together as Kevin and Jason watch

Kevin: This is unbelievable! They’re upstaging us at our own premiere, these chicks! Why aren’t you and I out there doing some kind of erotically-charged dance routine?

Jason: We can man. Let’s do it!

Kevin: It was a rhetorical question.

Jason: Dude don’t call it rhetorical. That’s mean. You’re rhetorical.

(Everyone forms a circle around Alex and Paige dancing.)


In the lobby

Emma: I need to go in there and face them.

Peter: Don’t.

Emma: He’s married to my mother and he’s in the theatre necking with yours!

Peter: Running in there won’t fix anything.

Emma: How would you know?

Peter: Just do, okay? You don’t want to do anything until you’ve calmed down. You’ll regret it. Believe me.

Emma: I have to go.


At the VIP party

Paige: Ever feel drunk without drinking?

Alex: Is that when your shoes went AWOL?

Paige: They were pinchy. I’m gonna go get some water. I’ll go get you some. Hi!

(Jay walks past Paige and over to Alex.)

Jay: So this new lesbian thing you got going on…I like to watch.

Alex: I like to punch. Dream on.

Jay: Lexie. Lexie, come on. Why weren’t you this adventurous while we were dating? We could have had fun.

Alex: You’re disgusting.

Jay: Oh and you? Putting on a show for everyone? You know, what makes you think tonight is about you anyways?

Alex: It’s not. It’s about her.

Paige: Here.

Alex: Thank you. Let me walk you home

Paige: But my shoes…

Alex: Barefoot suits you and besides my place is on the way.


At Alex’s house

Alex: My mom and her boyfriend are home so just wait by the door.

Paige: But I’m thirsty. Can’t I just get a drink of water?

Alex: No. I’m grabbing shoes and then we’re out of here immediately.

Ms. Nunez: Lexie? Hey. Who’s your friend?

Alex: Never mind mom. Just grabbing shoes.

Paige: Hi Ms. Nunez. I’m Paige.

Ms. Nunez: Paige? The Paige? I feel like I’m in the presence of royalty. You know that Lexie never stops talking about you.

Paige: Really? Little ol’ me?

Alex: Mom! Where’s Chad?

Ms. Nunez: Oh he passed out hours ago. Come sit. Can I get you something darling?

Paige: Yeah diet anything. Please.

Alex: Paige we have to go.

Ms. Nunez: Would you hold your horses Lexie and just let the girl sit awhile. Oh be a good hostess and get her a drink okay?

Paige: Looks like the party’s just getting started Ms. Nunez.

Ms. Nunez: Please call my Emily.

Paige: Emily. Okay. So what was Lexie like as a girl?

Ms. Nunez: You know what? I can’t remember.

(They start laughing and Alex walks off angry.)

Ms. Nunez: I’m kidding. Lex, I’m kidding! I’m just kidding.


At Emma’s house, Emma is crying when Mr. Simpson walks in

Mr. Simpson: Emma! What’s, what’s going on?

Emma: I’m making tea again and crying again. I left something in the theatre so I went back in to get it and that’s when I saw you and her. Ms. Hatzilakos.

Mr. Simpson: What? We were just talking.

Emma: Snake I saw you kiss her.

Mr. Simpson: I don’t know what to say. It just sort of happened you know? It was such a mistake.

Emma: So you stick your tongue down the principal’s throat by accident?

Mr. Simpson: Emma quiet please. You’re gonna wake your mom.

Emma: But why? Did you think it would be fun? Did you get to the party and want to act like a teenager again? Just give me a reason dad! Please!

Mr. Simpson: You ever done something you weren’t supposed to with someone you weren’t supposed to be with? Emma, I’m so ashamed. I won’t blame you if you never want to speak to me again.

Emma: It’s not about me. It’s about mom and whether I’m going to tell her what I saw.


At Alex’s house

Paige: Your mom go to bed?

Alex: Yeah. She said to say goodnight.

Paige: She’s nice. Like mother, like daughter.

Alex: Tonight was good. You’re my lucky charm.

Paige: Tonight was good.

Alex: Paige. About before when we were dancing?

Paige: What about it? We were just having fun. No big deal right?

(They hear Alex’s mom and her boyfriend fighting.)

Alex: I’m walking you home now. Go!

Chad: Don’t ever call me stupid.

Ms. Nunez: Where are you going?

Chad: That’s it. I’m out of here.

Ms. Nunez: Chad no! Where are you going?

Alex: Will you stop it!

(Alex gets pushed into the coffee table and onto the ground.)


At Paige’s house

Paige: Will you hold still? I’m trying to help.

Alex: Being here in your room just helps. Its quiet. No screaming, no smashing.

Paige: Nobody should have to deal with drama of the shoved over the end table variety day in, day out.

Alex: Even me?

Paige: Especially you.

Alex: Paige I’m in trouble. This isn’t really related to any table collisions that happened tonight. It’s a different kind of trouble.

(Paige and Alex start kissing and Paige pulls back.)

Paige: Um okay…uh speaking of trouble or not trouble. Um, uh you take my bed and I’m gonna, I’m gonna sleep downstairs on the couch.

Alex: Paige!

Paige: Nighty night then.


Scenes for next week

Paige: (To the camera) I kissed a girl. Paige Michalchuk kissed a girl!

Voiceover: When Paige goes into denial…

Paige: (To Hazel) I’m not a lesbian, hello!

Voiceover: Kevin offers some advice.

Kevin: I don’t know. You guys seemed happy. It’s kind of worth investigating a little further I’d say.

Voiceover: And Paige isn’t the only one keeping secrets.

Mr. Simpson: (Talking to Spike and Emma) It’s about me. It’s something I did.