At Emma’s house
(Mr. Simpson is fixing the sink and water sprays him in the face.)
Mr. Simpson: Ah! Fruit salad!
Manny: Um Mr. Simpson can you keep it down? It’s long distance with Craig.
Spike: You haven’t let me brush your hair since you were ten.
Emma: I wish I was ten. You don’t have a time machine do you?
Spike: I’m afraid I don’t kiddo.
Emma: When did it all get so complicated?
Spike: Hey. Serious McMopey, do you know how boring life would be if it were simple? Right? Hello? Are you there?
Emma: I’m here mom. I’m just worried about exams and stuff, okay?
Spike: Okay.
(Emma looks at her phone and there’s a message from Peter telling her to go meet him.)
At the park
(Emma is blindfolded and Peter is leading her to a picnic area that he set up.)
Emma: Where are we going?
Peter: Just follow me. I’m sorry I can’t see you at school, so uh this is my way of making it up to you. I bring you all the comfort foods. Potato salad, um fried chicken, chocolate cake. You feeling okay? You look kind of sick.
Emma: Yeah I’m fine. I just, I can’t believe you’d do this for me. It’s so…sexy.
(They start kissing.)
Peter: Who knew potato salad was such an aphrodisiac?
Emma: Shut up.
(Emma starts kissing him and purposefully knocks over the picnic basket.)
Emma: Leave it. I wasn’t hungry anyway.
(They start making out on the picnic table.)
In science class
Mr. Ellis: Okay heads up everybody. Today we got Liberty talking frogs. It will be most fascinating I’m sure. Alright take it away Liberty.
Liberty: Of course Mr. Ellis. I’ll begin with the female reproductive system.
Mr. Ellis: Ah hint, hint. This just might be on your year end test.
(Liberty begins her presentation and Manny hits Emma to keep her awake.)
Emma: Ow. Manny!
Manny: You’re falling asleep during class and by the way your hands are colder than my Nana’s, at her funeral.
Emma: I have poor circulation.
(Manny pokes Emma again.)
Emma: Why did you do that?
Manny: Because you’ve been weird and distant for weeks and I’m getting tired of it.
Emma: Well I’m tired of you being Needy McNeedersons all the time. Sorry I have a life. Sorry I’ve got stuff going on that you wouldn’t understand.
Manny: Like what?
Emma: Like…nothing. Just drop it.
Manny: Woah. Are you getting your attitude from these things? Protein bars? They’re all you eat lately. Are they even safe?
Emma: I get them at a health food store.
Mr. Ellis: Ms. Nelson!
Emma: Um yeah. Sorry sir.
Mr. Ellis: I hope you are back there whispering about adrenal glands.
Emma: Absolutely. Gland central over here.
Mr. Ellis: Good because if you don’t ace your year end exam, I’ll be seeing you in summer school.
In the foyer
Alex: Oh my god.
Paige: Will someone please send Heather Sinclair a memo that belly shirts are out?
Alex: As if they were ever a good idea for Ms. Tellatubbie anyways.
Paige: Alex you’re like the vinegary dressing on the dull salad of my life.
Alex: And hearing the word dull, Hazel magically appears.
Paige: Hi hon.
Hazel: Hey Paige. Anything exciting in your mailbox?
Paige: It’s very lonely. Filled only with the sound of my increasing panic.
Alex: Gosh if I don’t get into the university or sorority of my choice I’ll just die!
Hazel: See you in bio.
Alex: Hope the lesson’s about becoming interesting on the cellular level ‘cause Hazel really needs it.
Paige: Everything’s always a game to you.
Alex: Keep’s life interesting.
Paige: Well some things do actually matter. Some people matter, at least to me. Hazel’s one of them and you need to be nicer to her.
In the hallway
Manny: Between studying and planning the end of the year extravaganza, I barely have time to breathe. How about you? How’s the environmental club?
Emma: Kinda lost interest.
Manny: What? You’re telling me you don’t care about those poor, starving dolphins in the rainforest?
Emma: They’re not starving, they’re not in the rainforest, and yes I still care. I’m just focussed on other stuff.
Manny: Like what? Jogging?
Emma: And other stuff.
Peter: Hey Emma. Manny. This is Brendan, one of the kids I tutor. I’ll meet you back here at 3:30?
Manny: I didn’t know you tutored.
Peter: Well my mom asked and I thought why not. Everyone needs a helping hand.
Manny: How nice of you. So what’s your favourite thing to teach? Grammar, composition, getting girls drunk and filming them with their tops off?
Peter: That one’s not in the curriculum.
Manny: Didn’t think so. Quit the hero act Peter. You’re not fooling anyone. We all know you’re scum.
(Emma stands there silently.)
Manny: Em! We’re gonna be late for gym.
In the media immersion lab
(Tons of pictures of Hazel and Paige are being shown on the computer.)
Toby: We can’t just fill the yearbook with pictures of you two, you know. We’ve got to represent the whole school.
Hazel: Paige and I? We’re the school.
Toby: Yeah. There’s a convincing argument.
(Alex walks in and sits down.)
Hazel: Sorry Alex. You actually have to participate to get in the yearbook.
Alex: And the vicious insult club doesn’t count?
Hazel: What do you want?
Alex: I think we should hang out.
Hazel: Uh sarcasm association doesn’t get you into the yearbook either.
Alex: We don’t have to be best friends or even friends. I’ll settle for acquaintances. Acquaintances who don’t kill each other. So what do you say? Why don’t we all go out? Get loaded, get into some trouble.
Toby: I could do up some fake ID’s. Take you ladies on a pub crawl.
Alex: Nice try.
Hazel: Or we could go shopping. You, me and Paige at the mall. There’s a big sale on!
Alex: You’re really gonna make me work for this, aren’t you?
Hazel: You bet. See you at 4:30!
(Alex leaves and flicks Toby’s ear on her way out.)
In gym class, Emma is wearing a huge sweat suit
Manny: Let me guess. You went to visit Shaquille O’Neal and all you got was his running suit?
Emma: Shaq is ginormous.
Manny: Uh yeah Em. That’s the joke.
Mr. Armstrong: Okay girls, as you can see we’re rotating stations so let’s group up.
Darcy: Emma it’s like a gabillion degrees in here.
Emma: I’m kinda cold is all.
Chante: You’re kinda whacked is all.
Darcy: Oh no, I think I see an extra ounce over here on your right cheek.
Chante: Call weight watchers, a 911!
Emma: You think it’s fun to laugh at the tub of lard?! It’s not! I know what’s wrong so you can stop pointing it out!
Darcy: You’re so not fat Emma. We were just joking.
Chante: Are you okay?
Emma: Of course. I’m fine. I just don’t want to be here today.
(Emma runs out of the gym.)
Mr. Armstrong: Emma?
At the mall
Hazel: I’m having a fashion flash-forward.
Paige: Cute. Sassy mix of conservative colour and edgy military.
Alex: It’s grey. Paige hates grey. What about this?
Hazel: No offence, but I don’t think you’re ready for the big leagues. Can you even afford those clothes?
Paige: Hazel!
Hazel: I’m sorry, but fashion isn’t exactly what Alex’s type does well.
Alex: My type? Lesbian you mean?
Hazel: No. The style-impaired.
Paige: Ladies. Please just chill. Hazel this shrunken blazer, it so has your name on it.
Alex: I think it might be a little too shrunken for Hazel’s body type. Gimme.
Hazel: You in a blazer? Spare me.
Alex: Do I detect jealousy? Tell me how long have you wanted to kiss Paige?
Hazel: Gross. That’s your thing. Not mine.
Paige: Guys stop it! You’re embarrassing me.
Hazel: And BTW, Paige used to be straight until you came along and turned her gay.
Alex: What? Okay you know what? I’m sorry. I’m through with playing nice.
Hazel: Couldn’t pull off for very long, huh? Big surprise.
(Alex throws the blazer and her and Hazel start throwing clothes at each other until the security guard comes over.)
Hazel: She started it!
Alex: No I didn’t. Paige? Paige?
(Alex looks and Paige is gone.)
Outside, Emma and Peter are jogging
Emma: Going too fast for you gramps? I’ll slow down so you don’t have to trail behind.
Peter: Aw, but I like trailing behind you. That way I get to enjoy the view.
(He leans in to kiss her and she pulls away.)
Emma: Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Peter: Aw your jogging breath is fine.
Emma: No I mean this. Us.
Peter: Just when I thought we were finally getting somewhere.
Emma: I want to go out with you Peter. I really do, but-
Peter: It’s Manny. Webmaster of the ‘Peter Stone Must Die’ website. Why does she still hate me so much?
Emma: Forgiveness is not Manny’s forte. Believe me she’s like the five time winner of the golden grudge.
Peter: Well then, then why does she have to know? It could be our little secret.
Emma: No! You don’t understand. This is all confusing and messy and complicated and I can’t do it anymore, okay?! Sorry.
Peter: Well me too! This sucks.
Emma: You think you’re the only one that’s unhappy, well join the club Peter! I’ve got a huge pile of worries over here by myself, okay?!
Peter: Are you alright?
Emma: No! I have to go.
At Emma’s house
(Emma walks downstairs and Manny hands her a sandwich.)
Manny: Here. Eat this.
Emma: I don’t have time for your girl interrupted today.
Manny: I found your food diary. You’re not eating and those protein bars, they’re props. You’re hiding them.
Emma: That’s not true. You’re making it up.
Manny: (Reading) I haven’t lost weight in 3 days. I run twice as much and still nothing.
Emma: Stop it.
Manny: (Reading) I can’t eat. My body makes me sick. It’s rebelling against me, just like everyone else.
Emma: Give that back!
Manny: I bet Spike would love to read this.
Emma: Manny no! I’m dating Peter.
Manny: What?
Emma: You heard me. I’m dating Peter. That’s why I’m like this. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I’m stressed 24/7 because I’m so scared of you finding out. Now you know.
Manny: Take your stupid diary. I don’t care anymore. You do whatever you want ‘cause we’re through. I’m sleeping on the couch and tomorrow we can talk about me going home.
Emma: Fine.
Outside the school
Peter: I got your messages. What’s the big news?
Emma: Why don’t I show you? Come on.
(Emma pulls him in front of the school and kisses him.)
Emma: I told Manny everything. We’re legit.
Peter: And she’s okay with it?
Emma: Well that’s sort of the problem and speak of the devil.
Manny: Wow. Look at the happy couple.
Emma: Manny save the drama for your next audition. We’re not interested.
Manny: Fine. I just wanna wish Peter good luck.
Peter: Thanks I guess.
Manny: You’re gonna need it. Maybe you can keep track of whether or not she’s eating, ‘cause I’m done.
(Manny leaves.)
Peter: What is she talking about?
Emma: I don’t know Peter. She’s completely crazy.
(Emma sees Mr. Simpson and Mr. Armstrong talking about her.)
Emma: Come on. We have some flaunting to do.
In the cafeteria
Alex: Your favourite. I went and picked it up after security let us go.
Paige: I’m not talking to you.
Alex: I had to go all the way to Mississauga to get it, on transit.
Paige: Uh how much?
Cafeteria worker: $2.16 please.
Paige: $2.20.
Cafeteria worker: Here’s your change.
Alex: I tried. That’s got to count for something.
Paige: Have a great day. Thanks.
Alex: I just care about you.
Paige: Great job showing it.
At the Dot, Peter and Emma are toasting their relationship
Peter: To us. Completely official for all the world to see.
Emma: Yay us.
(The waitress brings their food.)
Peter: Could we get some…ketchup. We need ketchup.
(Peter gets up and Emma puts a bunch of fries in her pocket, pretending she ate them.)
Peter: Woah. Now that is impressive.
Emma: What can I say, I’m a healthy growing girl?
Outside
Peter: Something’s missing here.
Emma: You’re so mysterious.
Peter: No I just thought with us coming out there’d be like a marching band or something. Maybe a blimp with our name on it.
(He leans in to hug her and she pulls away.)
Emma: Hey not feeling so huggable right now.
Peter: Emma you got fries in your pocket.
Emma: It’s just a little snack for later.
Peter: Cold french fries from your pocket? That’s a little weird.
Emma: Not really. Haven’t you seen Napoleon Dynamite? Come on. I’m just like a little squirrel.
Peter: Sure. Uh I got to get to class. See ya.
At Alex’s locker
Hazel: Paige isn’t talking to me.
Alex: Me neither.
Hazel: Well I happen to be upset about it.
Alex: So do I. I do have feelings you know.
Hazel: And when Paige gets upset-
Alex: Tell me about it. She’s the stubbornest person I ever knew.
Hazel: Oh me too and if you really want to know how bad a freeze out can get, phone Ashley Kerwin up!
Alex: We could try playing nice again.
Hazel: Again?
Alex: We could try playing nice period.
Hazel: If we go for hot beverages, promise not to scald me?
Alex: Just as long as you promise to leave your cyanide at home.
(They shake hands in agreement.)
In a classroom
Manny: So you all have your schedules? Next meeting’s Tuesday.
(Peter walks in.)
Manny: What do you want?
Peter: Show you something.
Manny: Good for you Peter. Learning to read is very important.
Peter: Hiding food, baggy clothes, mood swings, paranoia. These are all possible symptoms of anorexia nervosa.
Manny: I’ll talk to her mom.
Peter: No, we’ll talk to her mom. Hate me all you want, Emma’s my girlfriend. You can’t stop me from helping her. Don’t even try.
At the mall food court
Hazel: So.
Alex: So.
Paige: What is this?
Hazel: Paige-likers club. Alex is trying to get into the yearbook.
Paige: And the fighting begins when?
Hazel: We’ve signed a peace treaty.
Alex: We also bought you a treat.
Hazel: We even went Dutch to pay for it.
Paige: So you know, you guys made me really mad and I refuse to be the monkey in the middle.
Alex: That’s fine. As long as you’re talking monkey ‘cause we’re a little stuck for conversation.
Paige: Okay. Let’s uh start with how many calories are in this beverage. I always order no whip.
Hazel: Told you so Alex. Paige doesn’t eat sweets.
Alex: That’s a lie.
Paige: Shut up.
Alex: You had three pieces of chocolate cheesecake last weekend.
Paige: It was our two month anniversary. Oops. My spoon slipped.
Alex: Oops. So did mine.
(The girls start flinging whipped cream at each other while laughing.)
At Emma’s house
Emma: What’s going on?
Spike: Come sit down here honey. Manny and Peter came here because they’re worried about you.
Mr. Simpson: And it’s not just them. Your teachers told me you’re having trouble at school.
Emma: They’re lying.
Mr. Simpson: No they’re not Emma. We want you to go talk to someone. A therapist about why you’re not eating.
Emma: I am eating. There’s nothing wrong.
Peter: You’re hiding food.
Manny: You’ve got major psycho mood swings.
Spike: You’re just not you. We’re worried.
Emma: And you guys are all so perfect. You take advantage of drunk girls, you are the drunk girl and last time I checked you were making out with his mother.
Mr. Simpson: Emma you need to calm down.
Emma: No I need to get out of here.
(Manny blocks the door.)
Manny: You can’t go Emma, please. We need to get you help.
Emma: You did this! You told them! This is all your fault Manny!
(Emma rushes downstairs and starts throwing Manny’s clothes on the floor.)
Manny: What are you doing? That’s my stuff!
Emma: Kicking your sorry butt out Manny, once and for all.
Manny: Please stop it!
Mr. Simpson: Emma please, please stop.
Emma: You’re supposed to be my friend Manny! I can’t even trust you!
Manny: I am! That’s why I’m trying to help you!
(Emma starts gasping for air.)
Emma: I can’t breathe. My chest. Manny something’s happening.
(She falls onto the floor.)
Mr. Simpson: Woah Emma! Peter! Peter call 911 now!
(They all rush to her and Peter goes to call 911.)
In the mall security office
Paige: Nice ladies. Another night in the security office.
Alex: Think of it as mall detention!
Hazel: I shouldn’t have dived over the counter for that whipped cream canister.
Alex: If only those German tourists hadn’t gotten in the way!
Paige: I can’t believe you think this is funny. It’s pathetic.
Alex: Says the girl who was throwing biscotti pops!
(The security guard walks in and they start laughing again.)
Hazel: Ew!
At the hospital, Manny is holding Emma’s hand when Spike walks in
Spike: Doctor said you had a panic attack.
Emma: Okay so I’m fine. It musta been a reaction to one of those protein bars. That’s the last time I eat one of those nasty things.
(Emma starts to get up.)
Spike: Emma, you’re not going anywhere.
Emma: But it was just a panic attack.
Spike: Brought on by starvation. A psychiatrist is coming to talk to you and she might diagnose you as anorexic.
Emma: I want to go home.
Spike: Honey you can’t. You can’t.
Manny: Em you have to stop. You have to stop or you’re gonna die. You can’t do that to me.
Emma: No one’s gonna die, okay? I’m gonna try to beat this Manny. I’m gonna try to beat this.
Scenes for next week
Marco: (To the camera) Dylan is a selfish, reckless, immature jerk. So why can’t I get over him?
Voiceover: An old flame is back in town.
Dylan: I still love you Marco.
Voiceover: And Marco’s still hurting.
Paige: If you’re so ready to move on, then why aren’t you doing it?
Voiceover: Will he choose Dylan or has he found someone else?
(Tim is shown walking into the room with a shocked look on his face.)
